Don't Dress Like a Boy Magnet

Radio Script for July 3, 2008

“Don't Dress Like a Boy Magnet”

Hello, I’m Doug Apple…with Apples of Gold.

Don’t dress like a boy magnet.

“But I want to be a boy magnet!”Oh, you better think about that. Start by thinking about this: what percentage of the male population are you trying to attract? Probably a very tiny percentage, right? After all, you’re not trying to attract the dirty old men, are you? You’re not trying to attract the losers and abusers. I’m going to guess that the only guys you want to attract are the guys that you are attracted to. I bet you’re not trying to attract any unwanted attention from guys you aren’t attracted to. So really, it’s a very small percentage of the male population you are trying to attract, so don’t dress like you’re trying to attract them all.

So how many do you want to attract? This is important. I hope your answer is…one. If you are a single Christian female, then the most you should be trying to attract is one, and that would be your future husband who will become your one and only. And what kind of husband do you want? A strong Christian, I hope. A good, godly man with high principles and strong morals. If this is the kind of husband you want, then how should you attract him? First Peter 3 talks about how women should make themselves beautiful. It’s not their hair or their clothes or their jewelry that makes them so attractive. Instead it’s what’s inside, their holiness, their gentleness, their peace, their hope in God.

If you want to attract a godly man, then you must be a godly woman. You need to work on your inner qualities and your walk with God. And with that comes a de-emphasis on your outward appearance.“Yes, Doug, I want a good Christian husband someday. But I want to be attractive. Is there anything wrong with that?”I think you need to drill down and see what your motivation is. Does it make you feel good to get the boys’ attention? Is your self esteem riding on this? Is that why you dress like a boy magnet?Now think this through. If this is what makes you feel good about yourself, then what will you do when you are married? After a while, many women fall back into the rut of making themselves feel good by attracting the boys’ attention – even though they are married. And what will you do when you get older and lose your attractive edge? Some women panic with those first signs of old age. That’s why you see mothers and grandmothers dressing like boy magnets. Their self esteem hinges on grabbing the boys’ attention. This is a rotten place to get your self esteem. It’s fleeting. It’s never really there. You are always chasing it but never really catching it. The problem is that it’s like a drug. It feels so good to snag the attention of an attractive member of the opposite sex. It gives you a high that can last all day. Then like other highs, once it wears off you need another one. And to get it – now listen – to get it, what will you be willing to do? Will you wear your clothes a little tighter? Skirts a little shorter? Tops a little racier? What will you do to attract the boys?

Now let’s talk about the attention you are getting. When you dress like a boy magnet, what you are attracting is the eyes of the boys. They are looking at your body. Or let me say this, they are looking at your body parts. If you wear tight jeans, they are looking at your rear end. If you wear short skirts, they are looking at your legs, and on and on. Now don’t get too excited, thinking they are looking at you. They are not really looking at you. They are looking at your parts. Listen, they may love your chest, but they may not like you at all. This is not what you want, is it? It’s demeaning. It’s depersonalizing. So think about it. You dress like a boy magnet to draw the attention of the boys, which makes you feel good about yourself. But in reality, they aren’t even thinking about you as a person. They are just enjoying the display. It could be anyone.

So if you think you want to be a boy magnet, you need to think it through. I don’t think it’s going to bring the results you want.If your goal is to attract a good, godly husband, then dressing like a boy magnet is not the way to do it. Instead, work on your inner qualities, such as your holiness and your walk with God.

“But Doug, if I don’t dress to attract, I’m afraid I won’t attract anyone.”

Let’s go back to First Peter chapter 3. Verse 6 says you should “do what is right and do not give way to fear.”Yes, I think it’s a legitimate fear to think you might miss out on attracting a good husband. But do what is right, and don’t give way to fear. You don’t have to dress like a little “hottie” to attract a godly man. In fact, I think a godly man will disrespect that. It’s more likely to repel than attract. And you know what? A man doesn’t want to be married to a boy magnet. When a man marries, he wants you to himself. He doesn’t want to share you with the rest of the male population. So think this through, and pray about it. What are your goals? What is your motivation? When you get to the bottom of it, I think you’ll find that it doesn’t have any good long term effects. It’s just not a good plan to dress like a boy magnet.

Comments? E-mail me: dougapple@wave94.com. May God bless you today! With Apples of Gold…I’m Doug Apple.© 2008 The Arrow’s TipTo subscribe to your own daily “Apples of Gold” e-mail, write dougapple@wave94.com.If you want to be removed from this e-mail list, simply click reply and type UNSUBSCRIBE on the subject line.If you want to catch “Apples of Gold” in its original audio format, go to www.wave94.comTo search through the large archive of past articles, go here: http://www.wave94.com/modules.php?name=Stories_ArchiveIf you have trouble reaching me at my main e-mail address, try this one: douglas_apple@msn.com(Proverbs 25:11 – “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”)Why “The Arrow’s Tip”? Each morning, after diligently seeking the Lord, I write Apples of Gold. Then before I release it to the public I pray one final prayer, “Lord, send forth your arrows.” I envision Apples of Gold as arrows, tips dipped in the river of the water of life that flows from the throne of God (Rev. 22:1), sailing toward the hearts and minds of men and women around the world.Doug AppleGeneral Manager - Wave 94 Christian Radio for TallahasseePO Box 4105Tallahassee, FL 32315(850) 926-8000